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  • Madeline Shann

Late Homework

Late homework, late homework, late homework

Fresh out of excuses

And they undermine each other, don’t they?

After the first one accepted in good faith, with good grace

Now you’re just late.

Late again, you again, always late.

Don’t give me “mitigating circumstances”

You knew what you were getting yourself into

You said you would do this and you didn’t. You lied. You’re a Liar.

No, it was just a mistake!

I used to be able to make, and make, and make

It used to fly like sparks from my fingertips, whipping over keyboards, fretboards, moodboards, floorboards, springboards from one thing to the other

See this - it’s writing itself

Literally just go from one thing to another

Stream of consciousness

Stepping stones, child’s play, the easiest thing ever

Everything is connected, can’t move for great ideas

I’m writing ten shows at once, me, always.

Too many shows in me

And not enough time

Forever busting at the seams

I am going to burst like a dam

That’s what I am

Brimming with energy

I would drown you but you’re not letting me

You better hold me back because

I never hold back

Too many shows in me

And not enough time

And now I have the time,

and…

Damn.

Just a little trickle. Stop-starting. A drip.


It was an overpromise,

I believed it at the time

It took me by surprise

I’m usually much faster than this, honestly, I don’t know what’s happened

I used to just bash it out, art. I used to smash it.

You said you could do this and you couldn’t. You fucked up. You’re a fuck-up.

Please for the love of Christ don’t ask me to be nice

Don’t tell me (ever) again I should be kind to myself

You’ve no idea.

You didn’t see me before

Watching Die Hard, then watching Die Hard 2 straight after

Singing in the bath

Eating ice-cream in bed

You didn’t see me having candlelit dinner with my housemates like “this is also important”

You didn’t see me chatting to my friends online, like “this is also important”

You didn’t see me walking in the park like I hadn’t a care in the world, like “this is also important”

You didn’t see me daydreaming, snoozing the alarm, staring at the wall, letting myself off, getting myself off, racking up the screen time, quitting when it got too hard, getting my priorities out of order, letting my ducks wander out of a row

You didn’t see how kind I was to my stupid self.

And now look where it’s got me.

You’ve no fucking idea.

and I’ve no fucking idea

No fucking ideas.

I have to be fierce.

I have to force it.

I have to drag it kicking and screaming.

It doesn’t to be here? Tough.

I have to make it.

Welcome to the party, pal.

I have to make myself make it.

There’s a war on, you know.

This is an emergency.

We’re trying to save the world here.

There's work to be done,

I’m paying to be here

I’m being paid to be here

If this were an office job I’d be fired

If this were the army I’d be shot

Just MAKE SOME ART

For God’s sake how hard could it be

Save the world one piece of art at a time

One piece a day, I said

“I’d make art all day every day, if only they’d let me” I said

Over and over again.

Art is everywhere, art is anything, and everything, I said

Everywhere. Everything. Anything.

Anything

Anything

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